The image of an expectant mother is a beautiful, tranquil creature drifting through soft-focus scenery, one hand on the beat little bump, the other stroking the head of a happy toddler. The reality, as most of us know or can guess, is rather different.
Today’s expectant mother is often either working until the last minute or caring for other children who aren’t at all sensitive to her needs. The happy event may be overshadowed with financial worries or – especially if it’s the first child – a secret fear that it might all be a terrible mistake.
Doubts and fears are perfectly natural. After all, having a child is a major change and a serious set of new responsibilities. Children restrict your freedom, make a mess, cost a fortune and never give you a day off. Bottling up these worries can cause a lot of unnecessary unhappiness, so talk it over with someone you trust.
Don’t forget to welcome the new baby, though. It sounds bizarre, but many experts now believe the baby can sense your feelings about it. Unborn babies are certainly affected by their mother’s moods, since these send hormones coursing through the mother’s bloodstream, which the baby shares. So when you’re tense or angry, the baby will be filled with the same stressful hormones.
Also, the baby hears and responds to noises just as we do. Researchers have even discovered that unborn babies don’t like heavy metal music, but relaxing and serene music like Mozart.
Taking care of yourself
- Give yourself time to relax every day. Easier said than done, but well worth the effort if you take the phone off the hook and tell everyone you’re doing this for your health.
- Help the baby’s father feel involved by giving you backrubs – or, even better, learning some massage techniques. Lie on your side with a pillow supporting your upper knee as you get bigger. Avoid pressure on the abdomen (especially in the first few months) and only use essential oils if they’re guaranteed safe for use in pregnancy. Also let him rub your legs gently upwards from the ankles.
- If your doctor wants to give you iron tablets, ask for a blood test to see if you really need them. If you do, look for liquid versions that claim not to cause constipation.
- Give up smoking, and try not to let anyone smoke near you. On top of everything else, it raises the levels of stress hormones in the blood.
Moments with the baby
- Sit comfortably with your hands on your abdomen, maybe in a rocking chair, and talk to the baby growing in your womb. Say something like, “I’m looking forward to meeting you, and playing with you”.
- Tell your baby about the other members of the family, or what you’ve been doing that day. Just keep to positive subjects. You don’t even have to talk out loud.
- What’s happening is that you’re encouraging your brain to produce calming, mood-lifting hormones.
- You’ll feel good, and if the baby understands, all the better!
- Let the baby’s brothers and sisters listen to it through your tummy. This will help them to feel part of the process.
As an expectant mother, don’t forget to have your regular check-up. Visit a medical service provider whom you can trust.