Parenting Disputes After Separation

After a separation, you might heard how a parent details the reasons why their children should spend more time with them, and less time with the other parent. Parental separation often initially leads to an increase in parental conflict and anger, although for some families the level of conflict reduces when parents do not see each other regularly. The level of conflict between parents usually reduces significantly in the two to three years after separation, although it remains high in approximately ten per cent of families. Research shows that parents who focused on the interests and preferences of their children were able to avoid disputes, and that the higher the level of dysfunction or complexity of the parents’ relationship, the longer it takes to reach a resolution regarding parenting arrangements.

Conflict in Families After Separation

Parental separation often initially leads to an increase in parental conflict and anger, although for some families the level of conflict reduces when parents do not see each other regularly. The level of conflict between parents usually reduces significantly in the two to three years after separation, although it remains high in approximately ten per cent of families. Research has found that following separation and divorce, children are twice as likely to have emotional, social, behavioural and academic problems compared to children from families that are still together. However, this may not be the case in all families. The increased risk of poor adjustment in children may partly be due to high conflict and other problems in the family before the separation. This may affect the child/ren’s ability to cope with the separation. High levels of conflict and ill-feeling between parents following separation have also been found to have a negative impact on children’s adjustment following their parents’ separation. The type of post-separation conflict that has been found to have the worst effect on children is that which occurs when parents use children to express their anger and hostility. Children who are placed in the middle of their parents’ dispute (by either parent) are more likely to be angry, stressed, depressed or anxious, and have poorer relationships with their parents than children who are not used in this way.

Parenting Dipustes and the Court

The disputes may even lead to the court. How does a court make a decision about children? A court must regard the best interests of the child as the paramount consideration when dealing with any application for a parenting order. The primary considerations for the Court in deciding what is in a child’s best interests are: • The benefit to the child of having a meaningful relationship with both parents; and, • The need to protect the child from physical or psychological harm. The importance of this is highlighted in the Family Law Act 1975 which relates to the rights and interests of all children in Australia. The Family Law Act also sets out that the principles underlying this objective are, unless it would be contrary to a child's best interests, that: • Children have the right to know and be cared for by both their parents. • Children have a right to spend time on a regular basis and communicate on a regular basis with both parents. • That parents jointly share duties and responsibilities concerning the care, welfare and development of their children. • That parents should agree about the parenting of their children • That children have a right to enjoy their culture.

Family Mediation and Dispute Resolution

People refer to ‘mediation’ in many different ways. It can be as informal as having a friend or family member helping to talk through the issues in dispute. It can also be a formal process involving a professional mediator. Disputes can involve just two people in conflict, or include extended family members. Where there are issues related to child protection, mediation may involve full family group conferencing. When disputes can’t be resolved by mediation, the matter may need to go to a court for a judge to make decisions. Going to court is a long, stressful and expensive process. Mediation aims to avoid the situation by reaching this point. The family law system encourages separated families to come to their own arrangements in caring for their children without going to court. This can be done in several different ways: • discussion between the parents • using a friend or family member to help • informal general mediation • using a special family mediation process covered under the Family Law Act 1975 called Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). During this uncertain times, if you need a family lawyer to help with any legal issues during COVID-19, Jeffrey is available by mobile phone. Please call him on 0419 233 670.

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sources: familycourt.gov.au, colemangreig.com.au, marsdens.net.au, familyrelationships.gov.au